did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I've only been home four days and my parents' cleaning lady already wrote down the number to AA and told me she's praying for me.
I'm in a hotel full of Marines. I'm leaving here pregnant.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apple should advertise that their phones are puke-proof. They would appeal to a whole new audience.
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
who's idea was it to start the NCAA tournament less than a week after St. Patrick's day? My liver needs time to recover for things like this.
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
I can see their wedding vows now: 'Til basicness do us part
If it exists, I've probably pregamed it.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar
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