Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
this beer tastes like vomit already
yea and when she crawled to her room she yelled at a bookbag to "get the fuck out my way"
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
We are not buying weed off a guy from the internet.
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
I woke up and found a stick of butter in my pocket. There's no butter in the house so I don't know who's it is. Using it to make cookies.
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
He adjusted my bra straps while I blew him.
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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