so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
That girl really should ne nicer to her vagina. It's not a playground.
Apparently hers is a theme park.
Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i am only reminding you that showing off your fellatio skills on vegetables is probably not an appropriate party trick
I got a 69.7 in accounting. I have this whole doing the bare minimum down to a science
his penis was the training wheels of my sex life
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
I found what appears to be half an E pill and part of a tooth in my pocket this morning
All I want to do on Facebook today is comment on people I knew in high schools profile pictures and tell them how much uglier they are now.
And now I have a massive dip in and a Bloody Mary that would catch on fire if you put a flame close to it, with no pants on... At 8:15Am. Being single is pretty legit
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I am at a point in my life where I don't want to brush my teeth for my tinder date because toothpaste and martinis don't mix.
I said "one day" and that day is not today
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