sometimes I tug on my anal hairs for pleasure
you've officially gone too far. we are no longer friends
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
last day of my family cruise we all got trashed and had an award ceremony. I got the award for hooking up with a cougar. my grandma hugged me and said im living up to the legacy. this is why my familys better than yours
He was able to grab love handles during doggy style... I know we said spring break mexico diet starts next week but i think we need to start tomorrow.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I just stole a conducting baton from the chicago symphony orchestra... i have to stop drinking on weeknights
Besides the flaccid incident, it was decent. Average sized. So this is my life now. Loneliness and lackluster sex.
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
I can't straight up say the only reason I smoked a couple bowls with you was for your three legged cat
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
She was cute in her own little way. Shit, free taco's makes anyone hot.
"Fwd: Nice to meet you last night thanks for the tit flash" no recollec. i am officially banned from wearing tube tops to the bar.
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