Amandyke just told me shes gonna make my tongue her cum rag. i'm borderline terrified
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
Stripper fight on main stage. It just happened. And it was glorious.
I'm at the cafe. It's 7am. There is a girl I don't know on my futon who tried to tickle me this morning when I got down from my loft. I also not wearing any underwear.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
You don't understand she was in the fountain pretending she was diving for treasure. I couldn't possibly ruin her dreams.
Is this one of those "if you didnt give such good head we couldn't be friends" moments?
I haven't had a normal poop since halloween, we are not mixing vodka and tequila ever again
RESPECT THE VODQUILA
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
Social anxiety problems: I just had to get up and change stalls mid-poop because someone sat down in the one next to mine.
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