New drinking game: drink every time the guy whose room we are in is creepy
enjoy the hospital
so tomorrow. i'm thinking coinstar then adderall?
Going back to college after four years is reminding me why i love cheating... they dont let me cheat on tests but they sure try hard to make me cheat on my girl
He was telling me how the song fireflies makes him feel like he can talk to animals
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
he told me to hold it and try to write my name in the snow and it seemed like a bonding moment because neither one of us had ever done that before. i didn't anticipate it vibrating and weirding me out therefore making me let go and get my hand peed on.
Hey girl, do you remember you made me brush your hair with a plastic fork on Saturday night?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey do you eat chocolate chip pancakes with bacon in?
DO NOT MAIL ME A PANCAKE
Speaking of boners I learned how to say " jizz everywhere" in sign language
THIS MOTHERFUCKING ROOSTER
IT KEEPS CHASING ME BACK IN THE HOUSE
FUCK THIS BIRD
He left me alone in a hotel room my last night in town to go home to jerk off and watch TV. So yeah, I guess we're not really friends.
Just letting you know that I just spent 11 dollars on a car wash... Because you had sex in my car.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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