We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
shes a 6ft ginger. she brings nothing to the table except for awkwardness
Had a farmer come into my class to talk to us today. He apparently met his wife on fb and just thanked jesus for his land. I think I am in the wrong major...
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
You're a college freshman. Its your job to be pathetic. And drunk. But mostly pathetic
A lumberjack bearing the gift of small oranges or gymnast sex... I love you man but you lose that battle 9 out of 10
Its alot like that time you got motorboated by the carni at the rodeo.
Wrong. I really wanted to see the movie. And she was on top of me like she was riding a mechanical bull. Who am I to complain? I live to serve.
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
Just used the pen i got in my signing ceremony to pack down my bowl. coach would be proud
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
He put your tit in his mouth. Professionalism is out the window after that.
okay valid
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