I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
I think that i just found proof that harry and ginny had sex
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
But it was well worth it to see a man fly through the air in a beaver costume...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Maybe her vagina is like a vacuum
I can't decide if that would be a good or bad thing. I'm leaning toward good
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Don't judge them too harshly for getting kicked out of a strip club. Happens to the best of us.
You are the coolest girlfriend ever.
Worst. Date. Ever. He peeled a layer of bread off his mini burger buns because they had "too many carbs".
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
oh, i solved that problem. i told him i wanted to steal my roommate's nephew. radio silence. haven't heard from him since.
It's just a friend who is recently single and I'm going to heal his broken heart with my vagina
According to my Fitbit I was passed out in my car for 2 hours after she got us kicked out of the bar
That same damn squirrel keeps staring at me like I did something wrong. Nature knows when you're hung over.
I just realized I'm not wearing clothes. I think my pants may be in the kitchen but I have no idea where my shirt is. I'm kinda worried.
well that was a fail
maybe for you, but i got a free ice cube in my bra
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