was i over the top when i said that i wished they made v-neck pants to her?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
I don't know how God could bestow someone that emotionally confused with such an awesome penis.
I don't know what's more sad having a rewards account at a liquor store or already racking up 273 dollar points since january
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
basically at this point ill snort whatever you put in front of me and just hope
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
I need a gatorade, my back cracked, my crimper, my shot glass, a sock of rice and an explanation.
You did this to yourself.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
My nonexistent future grandchildren will one day ask me when I knew I'd lost control of my life. And now I know.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
fuck school, let's just become the worst strippers ever
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
I was just in the bathroom and some guy yelled all hail the king... i cant go anywhere without getting recognized anymore.
Randomize
