Does it bother you that I left your underwear hanging in a tree at the zoo? i think the turtles are enjoying it.
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Your cock is gonna weep like a baby
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
That's where the buck stops? Buying girlfriends online? THAT is where you draw the line?!
I can't believe she made out with my 15 year old brother. That kid can seriously pull.
Donald Trump and I would be so adorably orange together!
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
It's amazing what a couple of orgasms can do for a girls demeanor.
A girl in McDonalds just asked if I was in here wasted a few nights ago throwing fries at the staff, I said it was my twin
We both know that wasn't me
It was all going good until I realized she was wearing underwear with a butt flap. Mission aborted.
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