Already got asked if we're dating
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I had to have the lights off to hide my face. I was laughing so hard I almost peed in her mouth
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
downstairs . braiding the drunk passed out girls hair, she will thank us In the morning
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Some girl at my gym just tried to casually drop the fact she can kegel 3 lbs...
Ugh contemplating vodka and chocolate protein powder as this Capri sun and vodka isn't really cutting it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I was so high. I had so much hair. It was like all my hair follicles exploded.
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I melted cheese on my pizza rolls. When I die make sure someone melts cheese on my rolls.
What happened lastnight it looks like I had sex with edward scissor hands....my back is so messed up
my bad i broke a mirror over your back
we were waffle house and a lady told me her imaginary friend was sitting in the chair next to her. i don't feel so trashy now.
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