I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I feel kinda awkward using the Sesame Street themed Google to search for hot young pussy...
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
we've already established he's totally wasted. but now he's just sitting at his computer, doing i don't know what, and he keeps saying "dammmn girl" in a really low whisper
he was terrible at kissing, so i just kept letting him motorboat me. he seemed very pleased with my choice
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
He started crying and showing me pictures of his ex. she was really pretty. It's an honor to have shared a penis with her.
You fuck like a mechanic. That is the universe telling you that is your true calling. Take this as a sign.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
Peanut butter balls.
IF YOU EVEN COME NEAR MY BALLS AGAIN I SWEAR TO GOD
I can't believe you're forcing me to handle this hangover sober
I think the only option is to smoke so much weed I just pass out for 3 days.
REMEBER. We are young, horny, and poor. If someone wants to give us alcohol... TAKE. IT.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
The first thing he said was that my underwear smelled like Trix but then he looked up at me and whispered "Silly rabbit, vagina is for me."
Randomize
