Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
Good cause the way I see it, we are down to DAYS left of college so we should have as much naked fun as possible. And Jenga really facilitates that.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
i dont know everytime i see her teeth i get erectile disfunction
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I don't know what that means. But if you take off your pants, you'll probably get arrested.
I let a drunk, gay man in a dragon costume motor-boat me. With his dragon head.
I'm gonna call it the Reunion Tour. Hooked up with two different ex girlfriends in one day...
Apparently I was proudly showing him the cup I barfed pizza rolls into
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I think I need to expose myself to your dog so he knows that I am also a male.
remember when I lost my virginity and said I could see myself becoming a sex addict?? Well I'm pretty sure that time has come
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
So is he the one who got away?
They all got away. I’m a catch and release kind of girl.
Randomize
