what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Just remembered i had an ordained minister bless my booze last night.
He had me saved in his phone as "Dick Socket". Lets see if I ever fuck him in a bathroom again.
She looks like if Peter Griffin was a lesbian.
Run away.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
He wants to hookup..at the fair..this is our chance to leave him stranded with no clothes.
My car smells like beer, you're here in spirit
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
I sang Sweet Caroline with a homeless man and made him 25 bucks. Redbull vodka gives you wings!
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
only i would get cock blocked by a cop
Randomize
