This is why you don't make out with cougars at a bar... I got a linkedin request from her, wtf?
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
That glade motion activator thing keeps going off every time we pass the bong. I don't know what I'm getting high off right now.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
You stole a frozen pizza from the freezer, stuffed it in the back of your shirt then proceeded to leave the party.
I'm studying for my midterm by watching porn with Spanish subtitles. Surprisingly the words are still really distracting..
I never want to hear the words unlimited shots for boobs in the same sentence ever again.
But yeah, that is officially the new "I just came" picture
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
I didn’t not spend thanksgiving morning making out with him in a diner parking lot
His dick is curly. It's adorable.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
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