Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
maybe touching the ground while going 70 wasn't such a great idea after all..
for on dont try to tell me you love me after three weeks of talking, for two if you are going to do that stay away from the song lyrics to a very good country song that you happened to ruin by using it, and for three erase my number im fuckin your sister now
She really thought E.D. was a sexually position.
Everyone makes mistakes, yours just means you will forever be known as the chick that tried to steal a cheese plate from the funeral.
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
The kid that passed out is still in the bathtub filled with ice and the empties
He said "I wish they sold 40's in bars".. and a business plan came to mind. Maybe I CAN do something with my degree...
The trashcan full of everclear punch caught on fire...you should probably come home now.
I didn't want to walk to anymore parties because I found a cat. It was magical.
Hows the party lookin?
At a live sex show right now. Not sure about the employee party
Two women at the Safeway just got out of their separate cars and kissed. One was driving an outback, the other a CRV. It was like a Honda and Subaru had a lesbian joint venture and filmed the commercial in front of me.
Showing up to Easter hungover, late, and covered in black an blues from pole dancing. Daughter of the year.
Decided to make myself tequila gummy bears but got impatient and just drank the bowl of tequila.
I don't think it counts as a booty call at 6:30 pm.
Randomize
