u cheatin on me?
if i did i would try to upgrade babe.
Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
Only girl at that party wearing a fake beard and I STILL get laid...
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
It was like a lincoln log. Seriously. I don't know who's more pissed, me or my vagina...worst.hookup.ever.
Well.. considering he unknowingly dated a prostitute, I consider myself the winner in that break up.
Soo I got blood taken today and when the doctor came back with the results she said "you aren't sick but the tests show that you are currently drunk..."
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
You showed me your butthole that's like a mating call in other species
All our friends are getting married, and I'm the dateless guy bringing molly to their weddings.
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
Should I be concerned that he called me mom when I got in bed on top of him?
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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