If there is ever a next time, care about me enough to lube it up no matter what my drunk ass says
Would it be cruel if i sold xanax instead of adderall to freshman unfamiliar to the drug-taking profession?
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up with a migrane, threw up blood, then my headache went away. I'm going to convince myself that it was just a bad batch of blood so I can drink again tonight
I was just "that girl you seen blowing some dude outside when you drove by"
ride him like a prized pony all the way to orgasm town.
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I'm 25 and I shit my bed last night. And I'm telling you about it. Not sure which is worse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I went with plan f. get drunk and start a fire in my yard
I don't want sex or anything I just really need someone to appreciate how shiny my hair is
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
You fell while talking to a cop, then proceeded to acuse him of tripping you... he was arresting you for public intox.
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