My underwear smells like fireworks.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
It's sad that he has such a beautiful cock and doesn't know what to do with it.
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
I found the bottle of ketchup and sobe you tried to hide in the middle of the lawn last night
let me drop the bass on your empty vagina syndrome
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He said he was walking down to the White Castle for sliders, still drinking straight from a 750. He came back two hours later pushing a grocery cart that had two puppies in it.
The puppies promptly had the squirts all over the living room, as he had fed them the sliders.
no strings attached, like you could fuck him and then throw him off a building right after
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
What are best friends for?
Picking your clothes up from a one night stand you had nearly 2 months ago
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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