Farted during a conference call.SBD. permeated the room people were gonna puke.noone could say anything or leave cus we were on the phone with clients. coworkers were outraged.how I still have a job is beyond me.
Oddly enough when I decided to stop whoreing myself out... I lost most of my companionship.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
My boss just sent an employee on an hour long paid break to pick up weed for our 'staff meeting' tomorrow morning.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
Dude I introduced the hot Russian girl to the hot Ukrainian girls. I am a UN ambassador
I think I will always strangely appreciate as well as kick ass at stoned dishes. Like for the rest of my life. Thank you slave job at Starbucks.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
Never thought I'd see the day when I got assless chaps in the mail, and yet here we are...
i'm in a very strange mood rn i'm listening to bruno mars??? am i ok????
Upon further investigation my nipples are bruised and I have teeth marks all over.
Randomize
