he just found out his girl is having a boy. he's probably googling "Ed Hardy diapers" as we speak.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
Long labias. Talking about. Too drunk to explain. Tomorrow.
He took me to the bathroom in the gay bar to "just cuddle." Fool me once, shame on you. Fool me twice...well...
As i looked at his penis, it stared back into my soul. No more drinking games.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I should start printing out disclaimer handouts and passing them out to people saying, "I can not be held responsible for anything I say or do this evening."
I'm more of a 'talk at me while I stare at you' kinda girl.
Waiting on the notification from my fitness pal that tells me I'm an alcoholic
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
My room looks so cute. Who wouldn't want to hook up with me in here?
I have no clue how you survived last night but I applaud you. 21 body shots off 9 bodies in under four hours has to be a record.
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
Randomize
