I took Valium worth by frank. I squabble
Li shadha you vin. It's phot out. I just ate a fried Oreo
i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
After you puked you called ur mom and told her you fucked on her bed, then u said "Have a good night mommy!" hung up and passed out on my couch
that would explain 17missed calls and 3 very angry voicemails from her
so if i die before i go back to school its because the thing we found in the hallway that i've been smoking out of is a crack pipe
Came to from my blackout with native american warrior facepaint on I'm too old for this shit
The facepaint not the blacking out
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
I'm sorry the first time we hungout you had to witness me throw up in the ocean then army crawl to shore.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
As I was about to go to sleep he asked me if I was ready to 69. HOW AM I SUPPOSED TO LOOK AT HIM IN THE FACE OVER DINNER TOMORROW
Dude, did you know, your blood is contaminated with over 17 non-beer fluids?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
you just won the triple crown of sex! your prize is more sex.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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