She can't keep using her latex allergy as an excuse to go bareback with everyone.
so what if he's got a new girlfriend. the guy i'm fucking has an english accent. i win.
Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
at least 'blackout me' had enough sense to take the puke covered duvet off the comforter.
Just so you know.. I just graduated college with your name still written on my chest
If that doesn't scream bromance I dont know what does
It was rough. I have dried puke in my hair and I don't know if it's mine or from the girl I met on the ground waiting for a cab.
I've had more jaegerbombs than I can count on 3 fingers
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Hey, before I head out, whats your policy on casual drug use and one night stands?
Like he was cock blocking and it usually takes ten cocks to block this cock
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Randomize
