Okay just took the preggers test..and im NOT! :)
awesome babe! drinks tonight!
Wait does the happy face mean yes? fuck.
Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
i wish my apartment had room service that i didn't have to pay for.
we've progressed from teabagging to lighting eachothers asses on fire. this cannot be a good path.
who the fuck is that kid sitting with you...
I don't have any fucking idea. I woke up and he was there. I'm kinda creeped out.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
Well who could blame her. I would run away from me if I could.
Woke up this morning with my period. Saw a commercial for the beginning of Shark Week. I see what you did there, Mother Nature. My pad's off to you.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
I like how my motivation to lose weight is so I can wear a nude bikini and get covered in body paint for the tribal party. Priorities.
His ass WILL be my cock's next vacation home.
I wish I had a dick so I could say shit like that.
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
CODE RED CODE RED MY VIBRATOR IS BROKEN THIS IS NOT A DRILL
No, I barely made it home last nite. Kept telling cab driver I live across the street from Susan Sarandon?? Thank god her coop addy is posted online.
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