im getting a BJ in a closet
and a penguin just handed me a bong
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
remind me in the morning to get the random kid out of the closet and to clean the pudding off the wall
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
I obviously couldn't but this on your fbook wall. I would get judge. I would willingly get tbagged by him. You can quote me on that.
he just asked me for a tag team. like at least let me get changed out of your roommates clothes from last night first...
That one dude should feel honored if he were to get herpes from you. Fuck that Guy. He is a herpe.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
Wow I didn't even consider the possibility of him having ED. I'm gaining so many life experiences from dating an older man
I immediately knew he was tripping, he came over with a grocery bag of snow balls and a bike helmet on and asked if I was prepared to die for my country.
I lost my bar virginty and made out with a dwarf. It was a good night
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
Are you playing pokemon in the dark and sexting? I can't be mad at that.
Well that's disappointing. I guess I'll give a lesson on dick-breaking another time then
Even after hearing me fuck his friend twice in one night, he still follows me around like a puppy.
Randomize
