I would like to feed your fingertips to the wolverines.
Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
Error 1684C: You're last text was undeeliverable. Subscriber is our to the aera.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
We have to go find her fucking car. She came home from a 80 dollar cab ride, no shoes, and all she remembers is its at a burger king on a street with an H in it
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
That makes the second boyfriend of hers that I've fucked. I'm gonna start keeping an eye on every guy she even speaks to. Girl is my sexual rabbit's foot.
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
He will be so fat that the winter can not penetrate his blubber.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
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