The streak lives on, still havent been to Towson without throwing up
Seriously.......what do you have to do to get arrested in Vegas???
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
I gave him a BJ and he left. Coincidentally that's the name of my memoir.
Is there a tactful way to ask "how are your balls?" Or do I just ask point blank
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I woke up with a pillow, shampoo and a plant in my fridge. Eggs in the toilet, and I was wearing three pairs of girls underwear. What happened last night
It’s a prereq for med school, so I hope the professor likes blow jobs
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