My girlfriend figured out who you are.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
she gave me one of those friendship bracelets and said as long as I wore it it was like an all-access pass to her vagina
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
We have to have sex while I'm dressed as a tiger. It's one of my life goals
not saying it was a bad idea to throw an impromptu party but someone stole the microwave
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
drying my bra with a hair dryer wasn't exactly how I had planned on starting my day.
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
I just had a flashback to us shaking up Gatorade mix and then inhaling it in your kitchen because it was funny. Now I can't stop laughing in work because that is the stupidest shit.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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