Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
We need to get cat food
Nevermind, the cat will eat lucky charms
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
She just pulled out a chicken strip and a hundred dollar bill from her purse. This is a legit twentyfirst bday weekend.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
yesterday pre dick pic he said "no disrespect to your situation but i cant wait to get ahold of you again in the future" is this how people network??
Something about finishing sexting a guy and him going "well. I have to get ready for Passover now" really makes me rethink my life choices
It's 5am and I have yet to fall asleep. At what point do we just accept that I run on vodka?
I'm going to make you a sign to put on your penis to ward others off
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
The problem with adderall is that no matter what I'm doing, I feel like it was the most productive thing I've EVER done.
Did you alphabetize our spice cupboard again?
...You'll thank me later.
Randomize
