1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
The dentist just giggled when he accidentally shot water across my face, I can sense how he treats women.
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Ha, I bet. You tipped the waitress like 10 bucks for a glass of water.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
Rumble strips road head = magical
i showed up sober to class for the first time. my prof said that i was "off my game today". i love philosophy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She finally pulled over after almost hitting 4 cars and a semi and asked me if i was rwady i told her to let my penis to come back out
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
Think I was still drunk when I woke up cause I went and bought a mandolin
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