it cannot be done, he is unbreakable.
What?
..he cannot be seduced..she had to have roofied him.
Details.
Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
i woke up to him dangling his cock in front of my face
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
I love your family. Oh. And on a completely unrelated note, I know where we can steal a dog.
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
Last night did I take a piece of pizza out of your hand and then proceed to eat it?
Twice...
I feel like I'm going to shit out a Big Mac
If my eyeballs could make a sound to describe how they feel they would just say uhhhhhhhhggggggghhhhhh.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm just impressed that you can puke without losing your gum
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
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