How do i write this on his wall without making it sound like he gave me an std?
Eric and I got kicked off of karaoke last night. Apparently, singing about masturbation to the tune of "A Whole New World" is not appropriate and definitely frowned upon by the DJ.
It's a good thing i didn't end up pregnant...i would have had to figure out his last name.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
I just did the walk of shame..with a blanket and a cup that says i will out drink all you bitches. This was not how i pictured 25.
We ended up at an Asian frat. I made out with two Mexicans at the same time and I pulled a muscle in my leg from twerking too low. Diversity.
woke up in a random sweater in a random bed in a random house on a street I don't recognize..
also, I vaguely remember swapping shirts with some random guy on the dance floor.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Of all the kinds of relationships I've had in my life, I'd have to say, lab-partner-with-benefits takes the fuckin cake
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
Who the hell tries to steal eggnog.
Randomize
