then he goes, "ok, i have to go talk to the girl i'm semi-talking to/dating and see if i'm in trouble" WHAT IS MY LIFE?!
The iPhone is ruining my ability to sex message. My 5-year-old cousin just picked up my phone at my grandmas birthday party and read "I wanna stand you up and fuck you from behind" to my entire extended family bc of popped up on my screen
Is it bad that we're talking like nothing happened?
Ah. Blossoming love after wild blackout drunk sex.
you really dont want me to drink and drive. you saw what i did to my face and that was only from walking
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
we made it to hole 3 and then just sat down on the fairway and finished off our case....cheered on other golfers as we let them play through.
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
I don't think boys are aware how difficult it is to take a picture of your own ass.
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
BTW send me your address and size of condoms you wish your lover was-- "if you build it, they will come"
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
I should've negotiated that before I sat on his face.
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