Do vagina's smell?
Let's go to weight watchers and eat in front of them.
hot ketchup is not a substitute for marinara
I was doing the dishes wondering what was with all the tiny little cups, but then I remembered that some people drink things other than huge mixed drinks and big cups of water the next day.
he wanted me to put the condom on for him. I was high and couldn't figure it out.. so instead we played xbox.
I wish I had a "puke in your car" emoticon
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
You wouldnt be able to explain the can of green beans in my mailbox, would you?
I'm reffing a fight in Fight Club I don't even know what I'm doing
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
i had a super strange, mommy/daddy issuestastic, mildly freudian, i-might-as-well-become-a-stripper-now-and-stop-fighting-the-inevitable dream last night :(
You know it was a weird night when you find curly fries in your purse the next morning...
He texted me at 2am telling me to come get my American flag from his place, if that's not code for sex idk what is
the girl next to me was drawing sonic the hedgehog on her exam what the fuck
godspeed
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
