he made me stop in the middle of the blowjob to turn the tv towrds him. i then proceeded when he stopped me again to get him the remote. fuck me.
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
you googled "nude photos of celebrities you wouldn't expect to have nude photos", puked into the beer bong, and then laughed
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Your lack of a response has proven you've clearly forgotten how crazy I am.
I just bought the ATT family protection plan so that I could block all of my old bar hookups from booty calling me...
I'm just crazy horny about you
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I woke up and found cookies in my purse. It's a 12/12/12 miracle.
Who would've thought that Monopoly night would've ended with some girl peeing on the couch.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
I took the beard trimmer to my balls this morning.\nMuch blood. Much blood from my scrotum.
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
