Someone told me they could tell we were from cincinnati because we say "as fuck" after adjectives
If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how hot is the girl you're about to fuck?
Strong 6
That's an oxymoron.
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Omg. The news was on TV while I was giving him a bj...when the weatherman said its a beautiful start to December, he groaned and said it sure is.
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Just got shoved by an Elvis impersonator. Evidently it isn't cool to ask how much of a disappointment they are in the eyes of their parents.
I did however clean up the cupcakes and vomit so I'm not that bad of a roommate
I am in serious pain and you're making dick jokes. I hope you wind up with crotch rot.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
Did I tell you about the swingers? Because I think they're trying to trap me.
Randomize
