She's not depressed. She's just sober. It's like the same thing.
It took my four years to get this degree, and 4 hours to lose it, My parents are not impressed.
I think all I remember saying is, "I love Chris Berman's voice" and then I passed out
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
i was gonna do a lot worse than just throw cat food on you while you were passed out, but then you sleep vomited and i felt a little bad
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
Is eating fries while lying on the floor bad for you?
If I choke and die at least I will have been doing something I love
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
It's like... Even my horoscope knows I had an awkward threesome last night.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
I can't believe he's mad at you for not remembering your fake anniversary.
So I've already made 5 bad decisions today, wyd?
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
Of course he did! You’ve seen my tits, you know he didn’t stand a chance!
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