love how google fills in search terms for you, today for example, i ran a query for "why do girls get t"
and google finished it w/ "ramp stamps."
I felt less weird knowing others had searched this before me.
Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
i have a bunch of little boys around me trying to hit on me
dont be selfish, show some boob
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
we got hammered off table wine and i ended up biting my acrylic nail off so i could finger his butt.. ill never look at valentines day the same
My TA just came over to give us drugs. Now he's drinking grey goose with my roommate and explaining his thesis to her. This is too much.
It's amazing how many friends she makes simply by carrying that flask of whiskey everywhere she goes.
I would feel worse for you if you weren't waking up between a pair of double Fs that attached to a classically trained chief. Im still jacking off eating hot pockets.
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
I just showered and shaved both ankles and one knee because that's the skin that's exposed in the jeans I'm wearing today. Please tell me I'm not the only one who does that.
Woke up with a grilled cheese in my hand, it was like god giving me a high five for the night before
Randomize
