her nipple to breast ratio was just odd
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
I cant believe she fell for the mistletoe belt AGAIN.
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
I feel like my teeth are sweating.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I walked in and you were laying on the floor bleeding everywhere half asleep half crying and moe was at the kitchen table eating frozen pizza refusing to acknowledge you. What a sight.
If he tries to stick his thumb up my butt again im going to rip his dick off with my vagina
I told you those kegels would come in handy one day
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
The cops wrote boobs in the police report. ...vandalism is our calling
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
We're at the liquor store. Then going to the hospital
Hey it's Males-You-Probably-Wish-You-Hadnt-Had-Sex-With Monday. MYPWYHHSWM
I only spent $42 at the bar last night, it's some sort of miracle.
you do remember it was dollar beer night, right?
That answers my next five questions
you'll kiss me after i give you a blowjob but you wont kiss me after I eat apple sauce? am I the only one who sees something wrong with this?
Randomize
