...so i touched it.
I thought I was at a rave until the paramedics started chasing me. You win again tequila.
gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
There are lots of gay asians. This is better than i was expecting
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
After I'd been making out with her for a good 15 minutes some guy yelled "grab this chicks beer she needs both hands!" And he was right I did need both: god bless jello wrestling.
I also slapped not one but two bananas on the ass, twerked in public, and I think I made out with someone
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Honestly cannot tell if I’m magical or really, really high.
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I'm eating ice cream out of my purse
Randomize
