after we finished he farted and said 'i've been holding that one in'
the jolly green giant just puched the pope. halloween is the best.
i want to have as much fun as i did last weekend. but plus the condom and minus the fear.
Found him. He was passed out on the couch at the new place in a room full of burnt pizza smoke.
My #1 goal this summer is to get drunk at olive garden
Dude you need to stop whoring out my boobs. They are for emergencies only.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Because of his penis, I can't even look at a hot dog
I got a dollar bill stuffed into my bra on two separate occasions by two separate guys simply for having boobs. I feel like somewhere god is patting himself on te back while pointing at me goin "you're welcome dude." easiest two bucks I ever made.
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The second time he came it projectile shot in my ear
We were in a spooning position and it shot all the way up. He was like sorry. Physics.
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I've never seen an uncircumcised dick in real life and the internet indicates I don't want to.
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
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