were not allowed back there because i puked on the waitresses foot while trying to order another round. for myself.
The only thing I want to hear out of a girl's mouth tonight is, "slurp".
Youll never guess who has to go to fucking planned parenthood because trojan cant make a fucking condom
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No one even knew you were hurt until we saw the multiple cuts to prove it, and when we asked what happened all you could say was "I fell out"
Well if were past the bullshitting stage yes if not then no I'm not that kind of guy
Sober now. I'm really glad I didn't try to make out with that guy who has a pregnant fiance
Oh god. I finally realized why the coked out Stevie wonder was explaining the concept of movember to the McDonalds clerk. Drunk me didn't process that another month comes after Halloween... It's apparently November.
This is worse then when all the pharmacists sang me happy birthday while I was buying plan b
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I totally OverDed on K2 last night. I felt like I was made of lead and then I had a panic attack.
Got drunk with him at an Irish pub ended up losing him for twenty minutes when I finally find him his piss drunk singing Irish folk music with a group of Irish guys and a midget
He meets the coolest people when he's drunk
going on a mission to find my pants and the guy who stole my beer don't wait up
I was giving this fat lawyer a table dance and he asked me if I would be willing to play with his long, hard stick of the law. And you want me to stop drinking at work?
Help. Why am I so naked?
He had a tattoo of the Batman logo around his asshole. I noped right the hell out of there.
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