But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
how many lesbians have to have their hearts broken before they realise I am not that kind of DJ
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
Fell twice in five points. on my face. literally during a cross walk. The cars just went around me. 21st birthday memories right there
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Your argument isn't valid... just because I test the waters doesn't make me gay. Makes me versatile. And who doesn't love that!
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
Turns out Edward 40 hands and life-sized jenga is really hard...Didn't stop you from trying. How is your concussion?
Okay so I've been talking to the mice again and they agree with me that you're a piece of shit.
Literally just took 6 shots in the shower..I’ve got this.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Randomize
