Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
So..I walked into his bathroom and found a bong and a blender in the shower.....normal?
I had to ask him for the scissors while I was in the shower. My hood piercing was stuck in my loofah.
I'm really not interested in hearing from him. Unless there is casual sex involved
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He had a 99.9% chance of getting laid...until he started cutting down the frat's volleyball nets with his pocket knife.
We need to play Chardee MacDennis. Contact me when you have an available date. This is not a question.
figured after she passed out and i threw up in her bed, morning sex would be pushing it.
There's a very drunk Asian strawberry shortcake crying on the curb next to my truck. I'm not really sure what standard protocol is for this situation.
Cockoligist
Yes, one may refer to me as that.
I should make business cards.
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Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
He said he couldn't fuck me cause I kinda looked like my brother
Danny put 5 hr energy in the jungle juice (that brilliant bastard) and I almost showed my penis to Alex. It was a rough night.
i solemnly vow to never stick my penis into crazy again
I give it a week.
So I might join you on the drunk train on the way to poor decisions.
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