My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
I attract so much trash. The guy that is engaged and kissed me is here so is his fiancé. I feel likeshw knows and will cut me in the bathroom might happen. If I'm not at the pool tomorrow she has blonde hair and is really flat.
nothing makes up for a small, perpetually flaccid penis quite like a British accent
thank god random hookups don't end with college. happy birthday, america.
These 19 Guys Hit The Cougar Jackpot
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
I wake up every morning and wish that I didn't have to wear a bra
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
I negotiated the purchase of an entire tray of like 50 jello shots for $8.
I took my vicodin with tequila. I can FEEL gravity...
35 Disappointing People Who Failed At Sexting
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
My middle name is suave and my vagina shoots rainbows, what else would you expect?
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????