i don't know her name but she is cooking me brkfst then helpin me find my car.
i don't wanna talk about it
My toast was "here's to being positive, and testing negative... Cheers!"... after that chick gagged on her shot, everyone knew.... slut.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I miss vodka workout Fridays
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i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
Pitchers of shots should be outlawed. I've puked more than i've breathed in the past half hour.
As if me making pizza in a skillet wasn't enough proof that I was in no state to be cooking, this burn blister on my hand is
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It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Also just throwing this out there I don't think anyone who brings another girl back to your bed to share with you can qualify as a frigid bitch
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
THAT'S NOT NICE
NEITHER WAS PROMISING NOT TO TAKE MY SISTER'S VIRGINITY, THEN PROMPTLY DOING SO
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!