i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
20 People Confess What It’s Really Like To Live Under Sharia Law
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
She just said she wanted to get freaky and left the room. I'm almost certain I just heard the microwave.
I don't not like him. It's just wierd talking to him because we both know I fucked his wife.
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
holy shit thats the most artistic dick pic ever
21 Texts That Prove All the Magic Happens in Parking Lots
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
The one that slept in my truck and you peed in his face?
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.