She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
he looks like a really good dad on facebook
Somewhere in this world my second husband is in 9th grade.
Every now and then I'll talk to a creeper for an extended amount of time. Randy, for instance, funded our entire night of horrible decisions.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
Unintentionally made him cum in his own mouth, and he just sat there screaming..
When someone comes out of your vagina and stomps on your dreams, you'll understand.
Hootey the Owl eats a mean pussy.
Um, OK. WTF?
The guy from the Halloween party. We finally hooked up. Went down in me for 45 mins. Came 4 times.
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I just jerked off in front of my dog to make him jealous of my thumbs. There are consequences for stealing the last cheeto!
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
its not even a love triangle. its a love square and it has come back to haunt me