I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
Facebook is asking me which Pokemon I'd be. Is there one whose only moves are gay sex and reading Adrienne Rich?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
i'm lost and i look like a hooker
I told her at least we still had each other. That's when she started crying.
me and my mom are sitting in the bank parking lot drying my beer soaked check with the heat... the whole car smells like heinekin and I'm trying to convince her I don't need a.a.
I saw him coke blaxckout on the subway at 9 this morning yelling at people callig himself the gatekeeper.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
Watch out, there's a giant vagina in the quad running around screaming at people.
how much boxed wine can one drink before work in a couple of hours?
I was just drinking but now I'm drinking and chasing with red bull. I call this "getting ready for work"
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
When we get drunk one of us ends up running off and fucking someone in an inappropriate place, like the roof of the restaurant, or Greece, while the other convinces people not to worry and not to go looking. That good sir is a real mother fucking friendship.
Thats what I'm talking about
And then I woke you by humping you to Lionel Ritchie.
Randomize
