I just shot gunned a beer for your birthday alone because you're too hungover at midnight to get out of bed. I'm not sure which of us is the bigger loser
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
Good news. Isn't krabs. Bad news. Not sure what it is. Worse news. Encouraged not to fuck till known. Great news getting laid tonight
YOU ARE OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. I AM OBSESSED WITH PORCHES. HOW IS THIS REAL.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
I bet yours is gonna be filled with secret innuendo.
secret innuendo and cervical punches to the world.
walked into my roommates bathroom to her throwing up a quesadilla while singing come on skinny taco
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
He broke into my house because he missed me. Then ends the relationship because I'm the needy one. Ironic much?
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
Yeah you were fine except for when you peed under the bar
So I think I've successful blown my foot off in a way that's going to make you call me an idiot.
Is there such thing as dick sucking teeth guards?
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
