he keeps dipping things in ranch and feeding them to me
i think my mom would be mad if i was pregnant. last time i was she grounded me for a week.
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
I walked home with an awkward asain couple. There was a language barrier but I think we're friends now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm about to pick up E from underneath a random doormat.......how is this remotely normal?
I found your wallet in my underwear drawer......... Don't worry I don't plan on asking any questions
I will take a blow job from a dude that kinda looks like a girl at this point
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
We climaxed at the same time during ain't no mountain high enough. Does it get more cheesy or domestic for a non relationship?
Would it be creepy if I masturbated with my face in the pillow he slept on last night? Cuz I'm pretty sure that's about to happen
You thought the flashing lights were strobe lights when they were loading you into the ambulance. You asked the EMT if he had any X.
tonight...tonight im having sex in honor of you
Randomize