I'm pretty sure I have jizz on the back of the dress I wore to church. Awesome.
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
I thought he was being really sweet and protective when he pulled me away from the guy i was hooking up with, but turns out he just wanted me to get chicken nuggets with him...
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
Wait... All I had to do was ask for a sandwich and you would have come over
Sober me admires drunk me's enthusiasm, but there is no way I'm going to make it out there today.
Lol drunk you is so full ideas and happy. Sober you is full of grumpy reality.
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I'm at a loss. By loss I mean singing songs from Wicked and pretending I'm at the Oscars
It was a fun night! I woke up with a boyfriend, again....
Two questions: is there going to be a bathroom at this party, and can we fuck in it. This will define whether or not I enjoy going to parties with you.
Randomize
