Ikea night.
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Insert tab A into swedish slot B
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
It's hard to be above the influence when you are the influence.
My friend just ordered a beer and poured it on the floor in celebration of open bar night
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
let's remember the whole point of NYE: to drink antisocial amounts of antisocial drinks, become incoherent, ruin a carpet, talk to a tree, wake up with head sellotaped to toilet. The where/how is superfluous, my vote goes to a cupboard and a bottle of jaeger Questions?
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
OMG CHARGE YOUR PHONE I NEED TO KNOW IF THIS IS A GOOD PICTURE OF MY ASS
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
We exchanged snapchat usernames instead of numbers. Is that what America has come to?
Next time a party gets busted lets get a group photo first.
I gotta give him props though, I've never been propositioned for sex via flash mob.
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
Randomize
