Regardless thnx for trying to help out, I realize we are dealing w/ very stupid girls here
I like you better when you drink
I like you better when I drink too
She's an ex-convict. She actually got stabbed in the face with a pen while in prison. No big deal.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
A cute girl just told me she forgot to take her birth control and winked... I've never been so conflicted about fleeing in terror
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
You just want to live out all your fuck fantasies with all these girls through me. I know your game. Well played sir.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
Remembering you have vodka in the freezer gives the same surge of happiness as finding 20 bucks in a coat pocket.
I woke up naked and alone this morning. What a life
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
Randomize