She goes outside, smokes 2 cigarettes, and insists on walking up the 7 flights of stairs so that her heart stays in shape. this woman is crazy.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
did you know that my friend knows a guy with 3 balls what the actual fuck
Oh fuck. There is like a human shit on the sidewalk. I hate this place.
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
That super awesome moment when the guy who threw up in your bed last night crawls into your roommate's bed the next morning...Naked...She was in it.
I should become her mentor. Get her life back together for her
You mean sponsor?
What happened to fro yo and sex?
Question: When you have the names of 4 guys tattoo'd on you, how do you make the 5th one real special?
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
So he apologized for peeing on my floor.. then we fucked all night.
Real classy
I forget, are we banging TA’s for grades this semester or not?
Depends on how cute he is
Randomize
