I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
He fell asleep in the strip club and they paid some stripper $20 to sit on his face until he woke up.
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I seriously think I got run over last night.. My sides are bruised and I got a ride home in the limo from the office.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Do you still speak french? one of two girls I woke up with only speaks french...
Liquor doesn't fix sad, but it sure as hell lowers my standards for a rebound.
I made out with a guy who was dressed as Borat
And like a minute in, I was like oh fuck what am I doing
Did you run away?
I DANCED AWAY.
We got stuck in traffic in the tunnel while we were smoking weed. We were afraid to air out the car.
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
I just want to trace his tattoos with my tongue
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
Getting a lap dance from a girl you went to high school with really isn't as awkward as you'd think
And she called me out by name, nothing could have made it more awkward but it ended up not being that bad
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