She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Just walked in and was handcuffed to a police woman. Fire fighter woman poured franzia down my throat. Aaaaand I just ate cookies off of Little Red Riding Hood's tits.
21 Ladies Confess The Grossest Things They Do When No One’s Around
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
I was still in a towel. We hadn't even started drinking yet and the champagne bottle dropped and exploded literally up into my vagina.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
There's scrapes on the inside of both my thighs.. Because we wanted to get drunk and climb trees naked.
23 Tweets I Thought Were Really Funny When I Was Drunk Yesterday
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I just found a piece of squished oatmeal cream pie in my armpit. So very sad.
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
It was hands down the most magical fuck I've ever had
It was the only fuck you've ever had..