They totally botched my boob job. My tits look like they're are winking.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
if you made me into a cookie and threw me into a betty crocker easy bake oven on christmas morning...that's how baked i am
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
25 Of The Most Cringeworthy Internet Stalking Fails
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
He made a fake guest pass that was just a note card with "I'm here. Me." written in sharpie, and tried to convince the security guard it was real.
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
Who is he, asking me if im dtf without a question mark
21 People Who Barely Escaped Death
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
Also I would love to pregame at your place if I weren't stuck at mine drinking laxatives
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me