you want my honest opinion? I'm sure refering to her vagina as the "bat cave" was your first mistake.
I had a terrible day! The only thing that makes me feel better is knowing Jack Bauers day was worse.
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
do to the flooding of the park, there will be a midnight bikini mud wrestling party behind my dorm. all are welcome.
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He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
My thoughts exactly.
I was going through my paperwork and I found the lifetime warranty card for my 14" dildo. I saved it. You know, just in case.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
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Honestly I will go to church for him, I will even try to quit smoking for him. But his dick is not worth losing alcohol. He sure as fuck isn't taking away our wine nights.
Would I chase a raccoon with a flaming stick sober?
I'm going to get old and fat one day... probably pretty soon and I'm not going to have any pictures to show to my cats of what I once looked like.
We tried to do sophisticated last night, but our low class kept shining through.
I'm sitting on the toilet eating a taco... I feel like a female Elvis.
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night