I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Is masturbating to pics of your ex on Facebook considered cheating?
You are proof that most things are best left unsaid.
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
I am more sore today than I was after my car wreck. Take it as a compliment that you bang harder than a semi-truck.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
its totally unfair that im just as ill-prepared as a 16 year old but there's no tv show for 25 and pregnant.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
My financial advisor filed my girlfriend's abortion under "investments" so my wife wouldn't find out
Why i have shady connections. Owner just txt me asking to come by and judge the new stripper.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are one of my favorite baseball you have fun today
I don't know if the puke on my pants is mine or not
I want to eat a stick of butter
Did your pain meds kick in?
It tastes nice
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
You can't say that. Only if you have peed on the side of the highway in daylight while signing Christmas songs can you say that.
FINE I guess I'll just drink regular coke like a PLEBIAN.
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