He told me he looked up all the foods that make cum taste better and he put it all on his moms shopping list. she came through my line. this ones a keeper I think.
Then he told me he was 40. I'm not sure if I have enough Daddy issues to go for it
Awesome, the library of congress archived all tweets. Now my great great grandchildren can pinpoint the date they inherited alcoholism.
no today was horrible, i woke up and somebody slit my car tire and left an apology letter in my wiper that said "sorry wrong house"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
Just ushered a raccoon across the street so yeah.. Good night
I just shotgunned a beer and my lipstic didnt BUDGE. MERICUHH
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the amount of 23-year-old guys who have seen me naked is starting to get a little worrying
I fucked her ex bc she fucked mine but now we're cool and I'm watching her dog this weekend
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
I saw seagulls fucking earlier today. What have you done with your life recently?
Come get me...at gazebo by side entrance....im passed out in a bush...this is a Bar A bouncer texting for your buddy
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
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