I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
Every day I regret the life decisions that led me to bank management and NOT being a coke addicted stripper. Every. Single. Day.
he sounded really stupid. it was like his puke had a stutter, too.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I woke up with like grass burns all over my body, i'm pretty sure i made out with someone under a bus. . . but i'm not sure
he screamed PILLOW FIGHT and hit branden in the head with a pillow that had a fifth of vodka in it. then he asked why he wasnt laughing
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
What should I say back?
Well, how do you want the conversation to go?
Straight into my pants.
Look outside and see if the septic tank explodes when I flush this.
I guess she was just worried I'd end up sleeping with you again
It's not too late to disappoint her you know...
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
He has the fingertips of a God
My sister can't give you a handjob and us still be bros.
Randomize
