I woke up with the new contact "Britney Both Nipples Pierced"... how do you think the night went?
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I vomited in the sink and my bra was in there...I don't even have words to describe this hangover confusion
I mean what are real friends for if they won't hold down your wedding dress to allow for a keg stand
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Is it worth it to drive to a zoo with a high possibility of sex at said zoo?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
There we go, I shall begin my attempt to achieve whore status today
may or may not have entered into a gay civil rights discussion with 6 year olds. Hint: I did.
Wine through a straw in a subway cup.....classy
Well I thought I saw everything and then I saw Christmas themed poop bags at Petco.
Fuck this pandemic. She grabbed the hand sanitizer instead of the hand lotion while giving me a hand job and now my dick is burning and scrotum are on fire
A hand job? Are you 12?
Randomize