He tugged on my tampon string and said 'there's a snake in my boot'. Needless to say he called me Woody and quoted Toy Story the rest of the night.
no jill really. Evrything around me is talking to me. The plant, my dog, the tv,the lamp. Its amazing.
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
Hefty paycheck and not get wasted can't exist in the same night
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
I found him on the floor in the kitchen eating cheese and tomato. I mean a block of cheese and whole tomatoes, he was alternating. Thats why your cheese has teeth marks.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
I just fucked her in the corner of an ally while holding a large pizza waiting on a pledge for a ride.
Double dirt bag award winner tonight. He picked me up in his wife's car.
We knew it was an interesting night when we found my thong wrapped around a chocolate chip muffin in the fridge.
So she was on top of my phone and somehow called my roommate while I banged her. I picked up and he congratulated me. I was with his sister. I will take this to my grave.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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