Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
And then he told me he had the vodka, but he was still in line at WIC for the juice.
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
Using Dr. Seuss quotes to ask me how badly I want your penis is not appropriate.
My brain is officially off for summer until late august. If that guy wants to fuck me, he better do it soon.
He wouldnt stop screaming that he wanted a trashcan WITH a lid. Whats so necassary about a lid
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
she tends to only attract lesbians and homeless men
Thank god the bicycalist i hit was on drugs
i woke up to something itchy on my head. it was his mustache. he fell asleep face-plant style on the side of my head. WTF?
Stop thinking your God dude. You passed out. God doesn't pass out...
Star Trek does not adequately answer all the questions that I have about alien genitals
I'm disgusted with myself. I feel like I need 10 boxes of Summer's Eve and a baptism.
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
You know that episode of Spongebob where Patrick teaches Spongebob to be fancy? His dick was like that, only fancier.
Randomize
