Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
that's almost as bad as that time i almost ashed in a baby carriage
i officially have more pictures of his dick than pictures of us together
i was actually impressed that she managed to throw up underwater while scuba diving
she used her one phone call to ask me about my day
We didn't need to cut her off. I'm pretty sure the lit candle she almost drank would have done it for us
Were taking his cast off tonite. Need a saw and a gameplan. Meet us at rosies in 30.
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I took shrooms last night.. For a good half hour I genuinely believed I was black and being held captive by a leaf. Never again.
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
I still can't believe I was army crawling thru his backyard at 2am..
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