You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
cutting back on calories before spring break by only taking shots instead of drinking actual drinks.
the diet of an alcoholic...
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
yea. Don't mess. He will heal me. But my blowjobs will be historical.
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
Fyi: beer caps are stronger then bathroom counters
just cuz theres a goalie doesnt mean i cant commandeer the goal and become a way better goalie
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
I almost just opened my door to get my pizza butt ass naked
Randomize
